Earthquake

  

An earthquake happened October 29th in the North.  166 killed and at least 10,000 left homeless.  On November 8th we arrived in the area to join our friends serving here. (This is the exact day Joe arrived in country 3 years earlier to help with the earthquake of 2005)  We distributed heaters, water holders (non technical term for something that holds water), and a couple of other essentials.  Today we are consulting with one community about clearing their land in preparation to re-build in the spring. I have had the opportunity to sit and "be" with the women and children which they often say is a neglected need after a disaster.  We continue to feel blessed to be here and to be available to serve in so many different capacities.

Joint Family System

Last week I did a homestay.  I wanted to stay with a local family while Joe was out of town for a meeting.  For me I wanted to live in the culture a bit closer and as well as being immersed in the language.  I'd have to say it was successful week in both of those regards.  It also allowed me to face those DIFFERENCES in the culture and reflect how I respond to them.  Sometimes I get irritated because I just don't understand why people do or believe in the way that they do.  I can write on some of those more specifically another time.

To get back to the title of the post . . . families here have a joint system.  Essentially meaning sons live with their parents after they get married and have kids.  What that meant for the family  I stayed with was that 35 people were living together.  I never got everyone's name down, but I always found someone to talk to.  This family has 11 sons so that is why the number is so high, and why the number could get much higher.  I've attempted to explain our system of moving out of our parent's house often after high school.  It is a completely foreign concept.

where there are no mini vans

 

This isn't the best picture as it was taken when they were passing on the highway.  I saw these 4 kids riding in the trunk while the car was loaded with adults.  We were driving on an unpaved dusty road in a 4 wheel drive, and this car sped quickly ahead of us.  

Yellow Bride in the Corner

Its wedding season!  We've received a few invites and are getting to know the routine.  Last night I went to a portion of the wedding ceremony called the "mahndi".  The bride sits in the corner of her parents' home for a little over 36 hours.  She keeps her faced covered while relatives apply henna and other spa-like treatments (i.e. ointments and creams and lotions and potions).  I don't fully know yet the meaning behind keeping the face covered.  Anyway, I walked into the room where she sat not having seen this before.  I whispered to Carrie, "Can we talk to her? What are we supposed to do?"  I am not so savvy on cultural things at times.  The bride heard me and said, "Mary, you can greet me.  Now come here and sit with me!"  We enjoyed a lovely veiled discussion.

The next day the groom will come and take her back to his home in a procession.  And then they will begin their new life together.

Grief

I just listened to a short podcast from NPR.  A man had lost his infant son and talked about the grief that followed.  He went on to say that grief is "showing honor to the one that you love".  I can't help but to agree.  If we would see someone who just lost someone and they weren't grieving we might ask or think, "don't they care?"  Grief seems to be viewed differently here.  I shouldn't say much on this as I don't fully understand the culture yet.  But I can tell the story of sitting in a local home and a woman came in.  She began to cry because her teenage brother had been killed the night before from a gun shot.  Nobody said anything, and I was waiting for the cultural clues to know what to do.  After a minute or two, the woman of the house said, "Enough!  This was Allah's plan!"  To grieve here seems to indicate a lack of trust in God.  So grief is discouraged, at least publicly.  

Anniversary Boat Ride

For our 2 year anniversary, Joe organized a boat ride for us in the Arabian sea.  We went along the coast for a couple of hours westward.  He arranged it through a friend's cousin who knew a fisherman.  We both enjoyed it especially because it was another adventure together.

Enjoy more pictures when you press "my photos" to the right.

Anniversary Dinner

Tomorrow is our 2 year wedding anniversary.  Our Urdu teacher and his friend made us a very special meal and bought us this cake.  While listening to Bollywood love songs, they had us cut the cake together and then feed each other.  I couldn't have asked for anything better.