Parent's Goals

"What parents want even influences the very ways they label children". Meredith Small

She gives examples of this from a study about how different cultures view intelligent children.
In America= aggressive and competitive
Holland= persistent, strong-willed, and demonstrates a clarity of purpose
Kipsigis Africans=the responsible one who does his or her chores

I asked a local lady here what an intelligent child here meant. She said, "he doesn't take things from other people". Essentially she said it is the one who shares what he has. I found this quite interesting in light of how important the family community is here.

chillin

BABIES

I finally got my hands on the documentary BABIES!

I'll admit I was initially disappointed because "documentary" to me means "commentary chalked full of information". Outside of the babys' cooing, there is almost no audio. Nonetheless I began to appreciate it for what it is and really enjoyed all the cute shots of the babies.

Oh, it is about 4 babies from 4 cultures (Namibia, Japan, Mongolia, and U.S.). I suppose the lack of narration is for the purpose of allowing the viewer to come to their own conclusions. One review described it as "militant ambiguity". Of course as I watched it, I thought the title could have been "Mothering" as what we are watching is how these kids are being mothered differently.

I love the babies. I love the scenery. I love the quick glimpse into other cultures. But as I watch I can't help but be a bit skeptical as to how much of it is staged. And obviously you really can't come to any conclusions (if that is what they want you to do) based on one child.

All that said, I would recommend it. Anyone else watched it?

Our Babies, Ourselves: Parental Goals

My 2 books intersected today talking about parental goals. Tedd Tripp says, "Parents must be goal-directed." Meredith Small says, parents "are active participants in bringing up a particular kind of adult."

"American Culture as a whole clearly fosters independence" as a major goal.

People here gasp and are horrified at the thought of our babies sleeping in their own bed and in their own room. Parents would never expect their child to move out of their house on their own and earn their own living. And men never do leave their families. They get married and the wife comes and lives with the fam.

A local guy lived with us for a short while. Very stressful. Mainly because some of these cultural differences came up. He didn't know how to be by himself. I suggested reading a book. He looked blankly back at me. I said, "take a walk around the neighborhood". He replied it would be boring by himself. This was the first time he lived away from his family at 24 years old. This was the first time he was expected to take care of himself and be by himself, even just for an evening. His parents had never pushed him away to have him get some of his social and emotional needs met elsewhere. Now he was looking to us.

I confess we bought him a TV as a surrogate family.

Our Babies, Ourselves: Culture and Personality

I recently read a biography about Abraham Lincoln. It told how he would only read for an hour or two, no longer, because he wanted to think about what he read.

Well, I don't have the luxury for an hour or two(!!), but I am trying to real short chunks of a book or two and then give time to think about them.

So I re-read a short section of this book carrying on about how cultures shape personality. She goes on to write that it is a very Western concept that how parents raise their children effects their child's personality, even adult personality.

I have to explore this idea here locally. How Muslims view this.

I don't know if this "Western concept" is reflective of an evolutionary worldview. As I raise Sam, I believe that God "created his inmost being, He knit him together in my womb" (Psalm 139). I believe my parenting effects his behavior and response to life, but not shapes his personality. She does write more about this in a section or two which I found quite fascinating . . .

Shopping Fun

I found carpet shopping works well with children. Lots to play and climb on!

travelling

Right now we are on the road. Joe is busy in meetings. Sam and I went to the zoo and then did a day of shopping with another friend. At the zoo Sam was at the fence when a bathing elephant came and stuck his snout in Sam's face. The zookeeper had told the elephant to shake hands with Sam. Sam screamed in horror. On the shopping day Sam enjoyed the carpet shopping where he could climb on piles of carpets and rugs. The shopkeepers there were very accomodating versus the ones at the bookshop.