Relaxing

P6010040.JPG

Catch up

I am not going to make any apologies or make any promises with this
blog. Its been a long time, and who knows how long before the next
one will come. Of course, it has been a resolution a few times to
get my blog up and running again, but I just haven't made the time.
Nothing like to today which is a semi-strike day as well as a rainy
day as well as the tail end of a sick child day. So I am at home
with so many little things to do I just don't know where to begin.

Since the last entry SO much has happened. . . so many missed opps
for blog entries. Days and days of unbearable heat. 24 hours or so
with no electricity . . . during the unbearable heat. A huge
rainstorm . . . which lead to no electricity . . . which meant no
running water . . . which meant a lot of other things. The country
has had lots of problems. But here in the city we have had 2 bomb
blasts. Dec 28th and Feb 5th. The latter one we actual felt while
sitting in our house. Following the blasts, but also for many other
reasons on other days strike days have been called. I recently
looked up the word for strike in the dictionary to make sure I knew
the correct meaning. Hartal means "a closure of all shops in a
market as a protest against oppression or other causes; sulphurate of
arsenic". It is taken to the next level here with the entire city
being closed, i.e. shops, buses, schools, etc. etc. These are quiet
days. And you learn to keep staples in your house. Rice, lentils,
tomatoes, onions, and spices. And movies. The president has
remained the same since my last entry, but those days may be limited.

On a personal level I have had a baby. Been LOVING him. Adjusting
to the new role. Experimenting with all sort of parenting styles. I
can say now, 1 day after his 6 month birthday, it has been a
wonderful, but OVERwhelming experience. Especially it being in a
different culture. I think mothering has been the area that I have
most clashed with the culture. I have never had so many random
strangers in my face telling me what to do. I am learning when to
grin and bear it, when to get on a soap box and share my differing
opinion, and when to listen. Sam has has 1 cold, is now finishing up
chicken pox, seems to like peas and carrots, and is running about the
40th% for growth. We had visitors with us for Sam's birth. My
sister for a month and Joe's parents for 2 weeks. Great to see
family again. AND I have had another birthday myself. I've realized
that I like to make the font on my computer screen really large. Its
so much more pleasant for the eyes. I have also hit my 2 year
anniversary of being here. I came on Feb 6 of '08 and have not left
since.

I took about 2 months off of the studies but then got right back to
the Urdu. My teacher and I have begun reading the newspaper together
which has been lots of fun. We mainly read the headlines of the Jang,
Daily Express, or Ummat and then discuss. My other teacher and I are
doing some reading from the Bible and a first grader's Islamiat
reader. I have been studying with so much "shauq" (Urdu for with
"eagerness") as I like to say, that I haven't had lots of time for
other things. For a few weeks I started a quilt, but had to put that
aside for now. I've enjoyed some good podcasts. Of course, This
American Life. The First Austrailians. 60 minutes. New Moms, New
Babies. Series on The Prodigal God. Joe and I have watched a few
movies we really liked. At least one of us. Up in the Air. Julie
and Julia.

Julie and Julia of course inspired me on 2 fronts. The blogging
front. Thus this post. And the cooking front. I could not make a
daily vow. But I made a vow to try to make something new each week.
White Chicken Qorma. Chicken Karahi. Lahori Chicken Choley. Taco
Qeema. And then Joe asked me to stop making meat-in-a-sauce dishes.
So I moved on to Morroccan chicken. Mini pizzas. Philly soft
pretzls. (failed attempt). With some local friends I learned to
make Chicken biryani.

I was able to finish a few good books before Sam. The Prodigal God.
Seeds of Change. Assassination Vacation. And after Sam I have
started a few good books (meaning never finished). Love Walked Among
Us. The Diary of a Social Butterfly. A Chance to Die. 5th or 6th
attempt to start that one.

And of course still hangin with the locals. Not as much as I would
like. Occasionally get to partake in "house-hopping"-- Going from
house to house to house of people who are all relatives for a visit.
Often it can start with a "lets go visit my auntie's house", then to
the next auntie's and the next one and so on and so forth. My max number for one evening was 7. And for those who know this culture, know that that also means 7 cups of chai and some pepsi and all sorts of fried goodies.

Also, visited some old sites. Thatta. And some famous sites.
Faisal Mosque

Well that is the summary. We are on the homestretch now . . . only 7
more weeks til we head out . . .

timings

Its been a good 3 or 4 months since the government told us to set our clocks an hour ahead.  They randomly declare day light savings time certain years.  But people also randomly chose to follow it.  So now when we set up appointments, the cursory second questions is always, "is that old time or new time?"  We work on new time which works in our favor because we tend to be an hour early for things when we aren't sure what people are working on.  

Another timing matter . . . it is now 11:20 pm and the cable man just came by to collect his payment.  This is not so unusual for him to come this late.  Joe has asked him about this, and he said it is just the way it is.

We are never quite sure where we are going

We thought we were going to a "meeting" about some development projects, but ended up being the honored guests at an end of the school year celebration.  In addition to handing out awards to children, they handed me the microphone while on stage and said, "Give a speech to the children".  So I threw together some simple sentences and tried to offer an inspirational message.

Gift of a Hotel Stay

For a couple of nights last week, we were given a hotel stay at very posh place here in town by our wonderful support team.  It was delightful.  We had anticipated taking a break before the baby came, during one of the hottest months here, after our language teacher left, and after a year of being in country.  But visa problems and then in country problems have limited us from travelling outside the city for now.  But we were truly able to escape for a few days, and all right here!  

For me the 24/7 air conditioning, the flat screen TV, the swimming pool, and the breakfast buffet were nice treats.  Also, gettting to wear a t-shirt for the first time in a year in public felt very freeing and familiar.  (I have never realized how much I love casual American clothes.)  We were also able to leave behind the work and studies and relax.  

Andrew's story by Joe

There are an overwhelming amount of sad stories on this side of the  world. More often than not, injustice triumphs over justice, wickedness  over human goodness, brokenness over order, and pain over comfort. The  individual cases of intense hardship are too numerous to count, or record.

Over the past half year we have watched a story unfold before our eyes  that captures so much of the pain, brokenness and hopelessness of this country. It is a sad story, but thankfully the final chapter is not yet
written. We wanted to share the story with you because it has impacted  us deeply and brought us humbly back to Christ, our "Blessed Hope" (Tit  2:13).

Last October, on the third day of Ramadan, a neighbor of our friend's  was shot. His name is "Andrew", and at the time of the shooting he was  a mere 22 years old. As far as we know, he was not involved in any suspicious activities. However, the area where "Andrew" lived is famous for rampant drug problems and gang violence.People are shot almost daily in this area, either intentionally in gang warfare, or unintentionally because they happened to be in the cross-fire of two rival groups.

"Andrew" was shot because he happened to be caught in the gunfire of two religious groups who were fighting over a plot of land. The government had decided to give a plot of land to a religious group so that a place of worship could be built on it. There were two strong and well known religious groups that were vying for the plot. Unfortunately, the fight among the two religious groups, who were members of the same religion and larger sect, spiraled down into violence. Remember, that the day "Andrew" was shot was the third day of Ramadan, the most holy Islamic month, and the month in which all faithful believers consecrate themselves unto God and devote themselves to seeking his blessing and favor. It is notorious for being a month when believers are to refrain from fighting and other sinful habits. Sadly, while in theory it is the holiest of months, in reality it is often a month of great evil.

"Andrew" was hit by a bullet in the cross-fire between these two groups. The bullet entered into his side, went through his lung and severed the main nerve in his spinal cord at the bottom. The result was that he was paralyzed from the waist down. We visited "Andrew" just a few days after the incident in the hospital. At that time, he was doing fairly well, in spite of the large wound in his side and the inability to move his legs. His family surrounded him in the hospital, alongside many others from his home community.

"Andrew's" family is quite poor. At the time of the incident his father was running a store in the front of his house that brought in about a $1.50 of profit each day. There may have been a few other extended family members who worked and gave money to "Andrew's" family of five, but regardless, they were poor. Thus, they could only afford to get treatment for "Andrew" in the free government run hospital that was not far from their community. Thankfully "Andrew" received decent care and the surgery on his lung lung and chest cavity was a success. The doctor however, in keeping with local custom, did not tell the family that it was likely "Andrew" would never walk again. Instead he gave them hope that after a mere few weeks, or months he would likely regain his ability to walk.

When we visited the family they seemed quite desperate. Both because they had little money to pay for the extra medicines needed on top of the free medical care, and because they had no idea what to expect
regarding "Andrew's" recovery and future. The entire family was poor and fairly un-educated, thus they were utterly dependent upon the government doctor's advice and the counsel of their neighbors and friends. Thankfully we were able to advise them as well, and give encouragement.

After "Andrew's" chest wound healed, his family decided to move him to an extended relative's house just outside the city. They thought that he could rest better there and hopefully recover more quickly. Thus, following the beginning of November we no longer saw "Andrew" at his home. We would stop by from time to time and ask his father how he was. They said he was fine, and were still hoping that he would regain the ability to use his legs. We did our best to encourage his father, and assure him that we continued to pray.

Around the middle, or end of February, "Andrew" returned to his family's house in the city. We were told the reason was because he needed to go to the hospital again and would get better attention and care from his
family. We decided to make another visit and check in on him.

We were immediately struck at how horrible "Andrew" looked. His condition had noticeably deteriorated; he had lost an incredible amount of weight. We asked the reason why and did our own check up. "Andrew" had not been eating or sleeping much. He complained that he could not eat much food or else there would be pain and he would throw up. We also learned, and saw for ourselves, that he had developed large bed wounds. Evidently he had not been turned appropriately, or was refusing to be turned. We did our best to offer encouraging words, and prayed with the family before leaving. When we finally left, Mary turned to me and said that she believed he was possibly close to death.

We continued to visit "Andrew", but after only a couple of weeks he was brought back to the hospital. He became extremely dehydrated, and was no longer eating any solid foods. After a few days he was released and
brought back to his house. This time he was given an I.V. for nourishment, and a host of other medicines. We visited the family again not long after this, and were once again saddened to see that "Andrew's"
condition continued to deteriorate. In that visit, "Andrew", as always, was surrounded by his unbelievably faithful and caring family. His brothers, mother and father hardly left his side. Furthermore, the extended family came daily to show support and help in any way they could. It was amazing to see their love and care. This visit, however, we were only able to speak with "Andrew's" family. He was so weak and tired that he hardly opened his eyes during our visit. When he did open them, he did not recognize us, or say anything.

Only two days late "Andrew" died. We had planned to visit his community that day and visit him. We were told however to not come. The funeral would take place immediately and it was uncertain whether there would be riots following it. During the months following the shooting, the two religious groups came to "Andrew's" father. However, they did not come to comfort the family, or ask for forgiveness for what had happened. Rather they came to bribe the family. Both groups offered not more than a mere $20 to the family, if they would claim the other religious group as the guilty party. Rightfully enraged, "Andrew's" father threw both of the groups out of his house and refused to take any money. Thus, because of the shooting and the subsequent actions of the religious groups, it was possible that a riot might take place.

Rioting is what people do in our adopted country when horrible and unjust events take place beyond their control. There is no trustworthy legal system they can turn to for justice, or in this case, a religious group that can offer real comfort, hope and some solid answers. Thus, because there are no trustworthy human institutions or political/religious groups to turn to, people often riot. The overflow of years and years of injustice, disappointment and evil suddenly takes over and leads to widespread rage. This rage often is not even directed towards those who committed the wrong, rather sheer anarchy takes over.
The result is that cars, stores and residences are burned. Public property is destroyed and people get seriously injured and even die in the fury of rage. Generally, the guilty party goes unharmed.

By the grace of God a riot did not break out following "Andrew's" death. Instead, the regular customs of sharing with the family in their grief were followed. On the third day we visited the family in order to sit
with them and offer prayers. In "Andrew's" culture, family and friends from all over the world will come to sit with the family and offer prayers up to forty days after the death. The third and tenth day of this mourning period are considered the most important, and considered necessary to take part in if at all possible. It was a strange blessing to be in a "house of mourning" that day (Ecc 7:2). I left reminded of the mortality of man, and our desperate need for a Savior.

Over the next few days we kept up with "Andrew's" family through our friend in the community. Obviously the pain and sorrow were great in the home, and the entire community. However, the story took an even worse turn exactly ten days after "Andrew" died. On the tenth day of mourning for "Andrew", his father suddenly suffered a stroke and was rushed to the hospital. He quickly lost feeling in his right side and lost the ability to speak. The tenth day is supposed to be the last day of intense mourning for the grieving family. On this day family members and friends make one last visit, and from that point on the intensity of the grief is supposed to subside. Unfortunately, "Andrew's" family's grief only multiplied.

Four days later, exactly two weeks to the day, "Andrew's" father died. We did not receive the news the morning he died, but arrived in the community where they live around lunch time. There was a tent set up opposite the family home, and a number of men were sitting under it. We immediately knew that "Andrew's" father must have died. Whenever someone dies the family sets up a tent outside their home so that mourners have a place to gather and rest in the shade before the funeral procession takes place.

Having got out of the car, I made my way to the tent and sat down. The crowds were waiting for daily prayers to be finished, and then the funeral procession was supposed to start. After some time, I suddenly heard a loud sound of someone crying. I figured that it was some of the women of the family in the house. After just a few short minutes "Andrew's" younger brother emerged wailing. The sound and the emotion being expressed was almost too much take. The majority of those gathered under the tent either sat, or stood silently as "Andrew's" brother wailed, and a few held him and did their best to comfort him. I have never heard someone wail like that, and it struck me so deeply that I had an intense desire to breakdown and weep myself. I figured it was not appropriate for me to also weep, and so I did my best to fight it back. It was the most intense emotion I have ever seen someone express in my life.

After a few long minutes "Andrew's" father's corpse was brought under the tent. The crowds briefly prayed and then passed by the corpse to get one last look, and offer one last goodbye. We then got into buses and cars and made our way to the graveyard. Once reaching the graveyard last prayers were offered and the body was buried. It was all over in less than one hour.

We have yet to visit the family again after the funeral, but we intend to this week. The future for the remaining family members remains uncertain. What is certain is that there is now a house without a husband, father, brother and friend. On a more practical note the future is also unclear in regards to how the family will get by. Before "Andrew's" shooting, only one brother and the father worked. The brother quickly quit his work after the shooting to take care of his brother. "Andrew's" father continued to run his little shop outside their home, but as I shared earlier, it does not bring in much money.

This story is incredibly sad, but even more sad is the fact that the number of stories similar to this one, are beyond counting on this side of the world. No doubt, there is joy, happiness and common grace all over this place, but for far too many people, sadness and sorrow far outstrip the joy that comes now and then.

Having watched this story unfold before my eyes, I have been freshly challenged by the reality of our hope in Christ. Through the Apostle Peter I was reminded that the hope of Christ is a living, true and objective reality. Whether we believe it, feel it, or ponder it day by day or not, our hope is truly alive (1 Pet 1:3). The question is not, "is there hope in this world?", but, "have we been born again into the living hope through the resurrection of Christ" (1 Peter 1:3), and if we have been born again, then the question is, "just how real is this living and objective hope of Christ to us?" Is it so alive that it shines, and causes those without this hope to ask about it (1 Pet 3:15)?

Our prayer is that our hope will become the hope of more and more suffering people on this side of the world. We are thankful that this hope is not small, but rather it will lead to the renewal of all things, that is, a new heavens and new earth in which righteousness will dwell (2 Pet 3:13). This is good news, since this fallen and broken world is desperate for a living, real and big hope, that will not disappoint.

My Top 12 Books from this year

I had a fairly successful year of book reading.  I aspire to read more of course, and find it is mainly a matter of cutting back on other sources of entertainment (i.e. Facebook and movies).  I've recently read a few articles of various people reading a book a week.  I was about 1 book every other week.  Lets see how this next year goes.

I picked my top 12 books from this year to share (#1 being my favorite):

12.  Kim- Rudyard Kipling.  I don't get to classics often, so it was good to get one on the list.  I enjoyed it because it fit in with my goal to read books about this region.

11.  Cross Cultural Servanthood/Cross Cultural Connection- Duane Elmer.  Two books, but of the same genre.  insights in living and serving in another culture.  Helped me in this very transition this year.

10.  Introducing Medical Anthropology- Merrill Singer. A basic intro to this science.  I have a very strong interest in the weaving of cultural values/beliefs and medical practices/beliefs.  People view medical issues differently here.  I want to know how to understand this!

9.  An Artist of the Floating World- Kazuo Ishiguro.  A random read as the book was left at my house by a friend.  A story of a Japanese artist during the reconstruction era after WWII.  I feel like the book gave me insight into my dad.

8.  A Thousand Splendid Suns- Khalid Hosseini.  Lets be honest, this guy knows how to write captivating novels.  I just feel so bad for the plight of women, knowing too that it really is a reality.

7.  Respectable Sins- Jerry Bridges.  I always like Jerry's practical theology.  This book was convicting and enlighting to sins that I know I brush off as no big deal.  I begin pondering how different cultures may have their own sets of respectable sins.

6.  Revelations of a Single Woman- Connally Gilliam.  Quite entertaining, but also, I feel, really hits the mark on describing the single life.  While I am no longer single, I can appreciate what she talks about.   I desire to stay connected to that time period in my life and be a friend to the singles around me.

5.  Urdu: An Essential Grammar- Ruth Schmidt.  This may have been the most enlightening about myself.  I found studying this grammar book fascinating.  Sadly I am learning my first language in my mid-30's.  Never did I know how much I would enjoy it!

4.  Freedom at Midnight- Larry Collins.  History of the partition between India and Pakistan at the time that they gained their independence from Britain.  Many interesting characters involved in this true story.

3.  Urdu Bible.  To read the Bible in a new language with a new script is seeing things in a new way.  I can't wait to go deeper.

2.  The Memory Keeper's Daughter- Kim Edwards.  The tale of a man who makes a huge decision that effects the remainder of his life as well as many around him.  Amazing job at character development and the impact of a split second decision.  The book was profound for me.

1.  The Great Game- Peter Hopkirk.  The history of the fight for Central Asia between Britain and Russia in the 19th century.  It was a huge scope of history and seemed like it gave so much understanding even into events of today.